aw shit yall we got a trekkie ready to start some shit in here
Moms everywhere: of course I can push your buttons better than anyone else. I installed the damned buttons.
My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.
The toaster one reminds me of the time one of the librarians smelled food and tracked it down to a woman who was sitting at a reading desk with a crock pot plugged in underneath it, cooking chicken stew.
In lieu of family support, I have boxes of wine.
Oh my god the birthday parties. The Birthday Parties. I could die of all the exhaustion just watching some of these other parents.
His asshole must be wide enough to run a Mack truck through it with all the shit he spews out.
There are so many things we have asked from Seymour and I cannot even count how many things he has done. Some probably find it stupid, have some reason for why it happens and such but during the last hurricane our house had not a scratch on it. Not one. Not even a branch downed from our numerous oak trees. The houses…
So true. I was miserable for 10 months straight, with constant cramping and weight gain and bloating and all the hormonal awfulness that I never really experienced with birth control pills. I do think the IUD is an awesome option and should be offered widely (mine was free with my student insurance, which was a bright…
Does anyone know how to become a contestant on Shark Tank?
See also: every single resident of South Dakota. The state capitol there is Pierre, named after a Frenchman with the same name. You would think they’d pronounce it Pi-erre, because that’s how it’s pronounced in French. No! Never! None of that French commie shit for the hearty folk in the 605. They pronounce it like…
This reminds me of one of my all-time favorite movies— The Desk Set. Classic Hepburn and Tracy.
Maybe if we’re lucky, next year will see Kara in front of the Shade Court backdrop, captioned
No shit?!? I once had a long distance relationship after I got someone else’s telegram while on a I was changing trains. The telegraph operator keyed it in wrong in Virgina as I was heading out to the Spanish controlled California territories and just as I got over the Mississippi there was a message for Miss.…
Remember the story from earlier this week about the Waffle House in Kentucky that refused to serve an armed,…
I just created an amazing blt. Now it's creating some gas.
Wow, this question is fucking ludicrous. I’ve been to law school and practiced for several years and I know for a fact no lawyer would bother saving anyone else in a fire. Might as well be testing on legal customs of middle earth.