I... Still do that pretty regularly. But only when drunk, and to my boyfriend. (“You should probably have a glass of water” “your mom should have a glass of water”)

The studio’s vision:

I went out with Conor Oberst a couple of times. The sex was meh, but I broke it off when he came over to my parents’ house for dinner and pretended like he didn’t know what a potato was. It was obvious to everyone that it was just a shitty joke that he refused to abandon, and my dad eventually kicked him out. I mean,…

If there was a thread about straight PDA i would say the same thing.

You know damn well she doesn't have any pubic hair.

The allergy one makes me remember yet again why my brother and sister-in-law have a fondness for Disney.

One time I asked this girl I knew to the senior prom.

Personally I'd rather set a record for catching the most single groomsmen, but whatever, lady.

Bushes come and go out of fashion.

Man, best my mom ever managed was to drive through a Circle K in a '66 Buick Electra.

M mom also burned down a restaurant, but she was just partying after hours with the owners and passed out on the pool table with a lit cigarette.

"As a palate cleanser for the last two weeks, please enjoy some stories of terrible customers receiving their just rewards."

I would like to take this moment to say: what this delivery driver did was unprofessional and uncool and so shitty.

I usually just say something like, "I know. Koalas, am I right?" And then when they look at me like I'm insane I continue with, "Oh, I thought I was allowed to insert my own noun - like Mad Libs. Were you talking about something else?"

I'm also enclosing photos of the actors and actresses whom I'd like to star with, as well as scene ideas and lighting design suggestions.

The use of "females" instead of "women" drives me up the motherfucking wall.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the tale of Saint Basil Fuckoff, the patron saint of waiters and bartenders.

I worked for a nation wide tea chain who had me doing the work of a regional manager for the pay of an assistant shop manager. 80 hour minimum work weeks, driving hundreds of miles a week between shops with no reimbursement for gas, no personal time, a great relationship ended, ulcers gained. A large portion of my job…

That's what I said! The jerk girl went on a classist rage telling me that I was not raised in a household who would be familiar with her brand of ettiquette (ie, I was poor) and that if I had been taught French I would know that RSVP meant to respond only if you could come.

...

Tooter, child pornography is illegal because there's a *child* involved. A *child* that legally cannot give consent to sex. A *child* that would have to have sex acts for the film to be considered child pornography.

Are you with us now?

It has nothing to do with obscenity. Are you dense?