“And by the end of the year, we’re all going to want to eat Bullets.”

He is so goddamn dense that it’s honestly a miracle that he doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the pool and drown every time he gets into the water. 

We’d have to have more information before passing judgment. Not to be blunt, but I suggest a joint commission to find out if this dope is using the marijuana again. This seems to be a chronic problem for him. The Browns may need to blaze and not make it so kushy for him moving forward.

Not recorded in the body cam footage were the words to his partner as he jumped back in the cruiser.

Williams is working on addressing the problem. “I got to start gluing it to my phone or something,” he said.

Is this where we complain about never getting our full 500 Days of Kristin?

I mean, it’s fucked up right? The notion that it seemed so easy for him? To just do it, to actually try and pull it off? What a fucking asshat.

Loose-loose is how I would describe bowl movements created from Papa John’s pizza.

Roth shared this fun fact with me: Khia once remixed “My Neck, My Back” for the New Jersey Nets. “Keith Van Horn” is rhymed with “Kenyon Martin.”

 Fighting a child > Tebow

Not sorry, especially since I got you so riled up.

“Make sure the grill reaches a temperature of at least 450 degrees before placing infant on grilling surface.”

I like this because it reminds us that no matter how rich or successful a professional athlete might become they all started from the same place, being the children of rich, successful professional athletes.

Me, too.

I can’t believe how badly this team has fucked up its payroll situation. They’re screwed.

Related question: what’s wrong with shorts that are so tight and short you’re basically wearing underwear?

So, what’s the hair transplant market in LA like? You staying pretty busy?

Serena’s absurd stats, age, victories following injury, etc. might trigger tests in a regulatory algorithm or flowchart used to determine testing schedules. Add in an overzealous official, serena’s testiness, and frustration with other bullshit medical stuff on tour re: seeding and this doesn’t seem too nefarious to…

...and if he doesn’t lead his team to the Asian Games gold medal this summer then they can hold on to the memory while he is forced back to Korea for compulsory service.

“A disaster here in Russia for Germany!”