“He walked all over the outfield pausing only to look up at the jumbotron and munch on a hastily tugged shoot of grass from the perfectly manicured turf. But once that possum ran onto the field, Les Miles knew he should be heading toward home.”

Needs more Constandino.

Scouting report: great leverage, huge hands, needs to be more comfortable in his backpedal

+78 with a tailwind

“Tragedy is when I am forced to watch an awful basketball game. Comedy is when you fall on your nuggets and writhe in pain.”

I'd rather be a ball boy in Barcelona than a bull boy in Pamplona.

“Well I’m his mother, and you should see his room! This kid certainly is a ‘Young Messy’ all the time!”

The patented box-and-none zone.

Probably the first time Philadelphia citizens have ever wanted Capital punishment for a white guy.

Can’t wait for this guy to be running FIFA in five years.

Don’t forget the other thing they all have in common: none are legally eligible to be president.

Hopefully this is the first step in the anti-Drake professional sports movement.

Too add insult to brain injury, Nate leaned in to the semi-conscious Bieber and whispered “It actually is too late now to say ‘Sorry’ Justin.”

Not every day you get traded from the Florida of the Northeast to the Florida of the Southwest.

Rubgy Sevens Two and a Little Bits

Not since the Spanish Armada has Drake inspired such fear in an opponent.

If there’s anyone I trust to get the most bang for the buck, it’s the guy who was Jeb Bush’s 2016 Finance Chairman.

Shocking that an Andy Reid coached team would have an issue with time management.

“And that, grandson, was the last time I ever debated the merits of Keynesian and Austrian economics with someone at a hockey game.”

Well the 49ers could use a good receiver, and we all know that Chip Kelly prefers Whites.