When Rovell helps me get a goddamn 4.9-star-rated Roomba for $399, I’ll start following him.

HE’S JUST LIKE OBUMMER EVEN HIS ENDORSERS CAN ONLY RUN US IN CIRCLES WHILE THEY VEER LEFT.

I want my basketball teams to end their wins the same way I’ll end my life - dribbling until the clock runs out.

Fun fact: in high school, Marshall Koehn was out on his family’s farm when he spotted a coyote peering out into a field full of grazing cattle. Marshall, from the other end of the large field, started at a full sprint at the exact same time as the coyote did, both racing toward a particularly weak calf that had…

Much like Kobe’s teammates, she never had a shot.

Talking shit about analytics in basketball is no big deal, but talking shit about analytics in baseball means all out WAR.

The least surprising aspect of this video is that a UF student was rejected by Vanderbilt.

I have many workdays where I don’t feel like building Excel models, so I’ll write something. Do any of you ever not feel like writing something and build Excel models instead?

I have a “2:30 tip” joke but it really works better out loud. :(

LOL JK OVERPAID HAIRPIECE SHILLING FOR MILLIONAIREZZZ

Not for nothing, but taken as a % of revenue, Goodell’s salary is below the median level when compared to public companies. His $34.1MM total comp is 0.26% of the NFL’s revenue of $13 billion.

Came for this gif. Did not leave disappointed.

When you've had the kind of drought the Skins have had, there comes a time that even your Cousins start to look pretty good.

As someone whose office bathroom has an odd number of urinals, I can tell you that middle relievers should all be summarily executed.

[Drake immediately buys Jordan Kilganon hat, jersey, pants, shoes]

Much like 50, Lamar probably has max two quarters of basketball left in him.

Just awful. I remember reading that SI piece when it came out and that family seemed so loving and caring.

THERE IS NO PLACE FOR FUN HERE.

Local Man Paid to Entertain Others Chooses to Not Further Injure Brain