One needs only to look at the Patriots’ schedule to realize his suspension is the perfect length for the NFL marketing machine. Game #5 for New England is a Sunday night game... in prime time... against the Colts.

Per terms of the deal, the Coyotes will collect all hockey-related revenue streams that previously went to the City of Glendale, including a portion of naming rights, ticket surcharges and parking revenue, while the city will pay $6.5 million a year to the Coyotes to manage the arena.

Looks like he could be Greg Oden’s grandson.

[Higuaín aims for dude’s face]

Jacksonville is Albuquerque with a beach.

This is the closest Bagwell will ever get to having his own bust.

Leaning back and laughing is his first problem. I almost always go elbows-on-thighs and look straight ahead dead-eyed when trying to take the Browns to the Super Bowl.

The closest I’ll ever get to having sex in Ybor City is doing unnatural things to a 1905 Salad.

Thank you, Sweet Baby Jesus. Gregg is gone, Craggs is gone (:( THE CURSE OF THE DOUBLE Gs), but football is coming.

I came here to say exactly this although not nearly as eloquently.

A Canadian gold medal will still only buy 0.77 American gold medals.

“It’s always been a dream of mine to play in Happy Valley and go up against traditional Big Ten powerhouses like Maryland and Rutgers.”

Feel the rhythm

You chose the wrong sport, Cyle.

Has more first names than points in his stance.

“You’ll never, ever, ever play for the Redskins.”

This is a simple case of he said, she said, he grabbed, she kneed, he pulled back, she punched, he punched, she pressed charges, he got cut from the team not because it’s the right thing to do or anything like that but because he’s likely 5th on the depth chart and will go play one year of 1-AA then transfer back to…

Two Frenchmen, a Dutchman, an Australian, and a Russian all slid into a Pole.

Only in baseball can someone show gratitude by tipping his hat and then giving himself an over-the-pants handsy.

I’ll never expend 1/10 the energy convincing anyone of anything as you did constructing this epic takedown in the comments section of a dick joke sports website.