“Wait, when normal people stop working they stop getting paid? That’s messed up.”

I thought it was hailing in Texas, but I think it was actually a Bale shot that just landed.

Most brazen football-related theft in Argentina since 11-year-old Lionel Messi was smuggled to Spain in a backpack.

When pressed for comment, the mayor retreated to her bridge where she belched fireballs and threw hammers at anyone who tried to save the princess.

If Neymar were ahead of the ball when Suarez played it to him, he would’ve been offside. From the looks of it, he was at least a few feet behind the ball.

These Barca kits are the highlight of my day.

Bats... they are sick.

Vegas.

It’s all a vast BIG FINANCIAL ADVICE conspiracy.

“Kaeden, get over here!”

In fairness, what were the odds his helmet would hit anyone throwing it into the stands at an AFL game?

Twenty twenty twenty-four footballs to blow

If you’re playing 3 at the back and at any time only have 2 (but actually 1, maybe? is that possible?) defender holding a back line, then this is what’s going to happen.

Let he who is without sin ride in the first Acela car.

Leave it to a guy working for MSG to be all salty with his voting.

I dated a girl once who thought every kiss was some sort of time trial. Don’t kiss like the building is on fire. And if the building is on fire, make it a good, long, slow one because that’s not a bad last memory to have.

Trying to hide my t-rection at work right now.

WWR(ovell)D?

Hey Ovi, what’s the only dwarf planet in the inner Solar System?

TMQ folds its tent and steals off into BIG INTELLECT. As usual, I recommend you talk to everyone you know about why football is evil. Take long walks, especially on 4th down. Attend junior college football games of any division, if only to see what real hard work looks like. Appreciate the beauty of scantily-clad…