….yet.

He and Jamie Moyer played AA ball together.

Also (hate to do this twice in one week, but it applies just as much here)

One less emoticon, and he could've afforded an "o" AND an "e".

I mean, why even bother with a "cute" selfie? it's not like the horse gives a shit, you know?

Congratulations! With this comment, you have officially claimed the title of "Lamest Motherfucker on the Internet." Please send your address to tips@deadspin.com, so that we may send you your prize: a JanSport backpack full of dicks.

"NOT FROM PEOPLE, AT LEAST..."

Well, according to the voiceover, he's also reminding us that we have voices. Which I often forget. The other day I went to a restaurant and the server asked me what I wanted and I just sat there. Blinking. Unsure of what to do next. Because I'd forgotten. Because I forget.

Hey bj316, thanks for trying our tool. When we started it, we looked for the easiest way to make the entry for people as easy as possible. This meant for us working with the crypto-URLs you see now. We assure you that it's not possible to guess these URLs or find them through Google. Nonetheless do we realize that…

In Coachella's defense, I firmly believe that anyone who walks up anywhere (that isn't a stage on which they are set to perform) with drums should be immediately beaten like a pinata.

Thanks, Obama!

FUCKING NOTED!!

I'm sure this is just a prelude to the total insanity that tomorrow night will bring.

Sure, you can spell assclown without WBC but you can't think it.

Porn sex for Nuns. Because after reading that crap, they won't ever think of sex again.

Wait are you sure you're not just a regular Knicks fan? We can't stand the Knicks either.