The uptight religious males are really into bondage and paddling.

So, you never masturbated at that point? And he never masturbated, either? I feel like that would have been like watching a couple putting together their first piece of Ikea furniture.

When do you rank twatwaffles? And where do I get one? They sound delicious.

They could have just laced the pizza with laxatives and Arby's sauce and fixed this a lot easier than shutting down YouTube and Twitter.

Sorry... couldn't pass up the cheap joke. But I agree with you.

Kathie Lee is a little batshit crazy. And in other news, water is wet.

This is what Taylor Swift was talking about in that song "22" now! I get it!

This has happened to me a few times at the Waffle House. I order my eggs over easy and they come over hard. So frustrating!

Thought about watching it but I've never been much of a Twilight fan.

Couldn't we get a much cuter trend of British people with Twitter accounts tweeting that they have a bum?

How many Heathers go to this school?

How many Heathers go to this school?

why does Tony Gwynn Jr look so nervous?

She referred to herself in the third person... As "Big Mama"!!!! That was the funniest thing I've read in a few days!

I can fix this. Get me Ray Rice and an elevator. She'll be straight in no time.

I want to see a picture of her before I pass judgment.

My brother's immediate response to this story was, "If you don't want people to think you're capable of sexual assault, don't wear your hat backward like a tool!"

He didn't finish so I don't really care how badly he broke his brother's ankles.

My brother once butt dialed my girlfriend while urinating. That is all.

that is one user friendly looking desktop.