Mediocre white kids, and parents of mediocre white kids.

Four letters: LTSB

Crossing my fingers that this isn’t a complete fucking shitshow like the Fall Creator’s Update.

Sending Scott Mendelson my #ThoughtsAndPrayers

I dunno, I think Richard Donner managed to pull it off, too:

Oh, I know. Sadly, becoming a wildly successful comedic actor to fund your painting career is the only trajectory less practical than becoming a wildly successful painter to fund your painting career.

Look up. See that thing flying overhead?

It is an interesting coincidence that Carrey, who became famous for talking out of his ass, is now getting heat for painting a portrait of Huckabee Sanders, who is famous for talking out of her ass.

Thomas Jefferson must be rolling over in his slave.

I’ve been applying this method with my youngest son for a few weeks now, and it seems moderately successful:

Me: “Come on into the kitchen so we can fight about what you’re going to take to school for lunch today.”

Him: “Why are we going to fight?”

Excuse me, they’re EXTREME instructables on houseplants

The correct superpower is always mind control.

Can’t wait for Black Ops 5

And even if your pancakes are free, please tip your waitstaff as if they weren’t. They’re doing the same amount of work they always do and deserve the same pay!

Here. Cleanse yourself.

If you’re a parent, do you risk having a meltdown or do you get your child what’s most appealing to them?

I’m waiting for the day it’s revealed she’s getting a little, or a lot, on the side.

Republican in the front, skinhead in the back.

I plan to have a wake/party. No flowers allowed (they’re way too expensive and I just don’t care for them). There will be a DJ and dancing. Everyone gets a gift bag with my favorite foods and drinks. A proper send off if you ask me ;)

Maybe we should just let Ajit kill the internet.