1. have resting bitch face

Plz take down this picture of me thnx

You’ll have to pry the wineglass from Mrs. Stig’s cold, dead hands.

melons

As a food scientist, I can tell you that sex is extremely important in food preparation. It’s not a matter of gender; it’s entirely biological. A few science facts:

So sorry another thing has popped up. (Pardon the pun.) Here’s to hoping it’s something benign that will be easily taken care of. When can you see your doctor again? Is there another doctor you can see in the meantime?

This will likely get lost in the shuffle since I’m here so late but here goes. I found a lump. In a place where you don’t want to find a lump. Not in my breast, thank goodness, but somewhere very terrifying. My doctors are out these next couple weeks for the holidays. It just popped up out of nowhere, and I am going…

Ugh, all I’ve done today is breastfeed a three week old. He won’t stop; it’s been almost every 45 minutes since midnight last night. He finally slept an hour or so this evening. I have a massive dehydration headache because I can’t keep up with him. Now he’s crying because I put him in the bassinet so we could…

I really love Sanders. Who knew I’d be this excited about voting for an old white guy?!

His most recent blog posts. HARD PASS

Fun fact: Leonardo DiCaprio actually died in a small plane crash in 1995. All of his appearances in films since then are simply using re-purposed footage from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape that has been digitally altered to fit the new film’s motif.

He knows damn well what he did.

SADSTURBATING AMIRITE LADIES

I have no response to that.

“....sorry not sorry, crying and masturbation.”

Try being a little more MILFy, Tina.

“Hey ladies, do you hate bodily autonomy even more than you hate Muslims? Then become a Hannity GOP tart and meet men who don’t care if you orgasm!”