Oh my god jezzies, I humiliated myself. Behold my tale of woe:

Diagrams, please. I live in Canada and this is relevant.

I’m late to to the party again. I am the kind of person who hooked up with everybody in my 20’s. There was literally no filter. If you flirted with me we were at least gonna kiss. I ended up bringing a terrible youngish grateful dead loving man child to our annual holiday bash.We drunkenly hooked up and the next…

O_o

This one never gets old. Thanksgiving eve, early 2000s. College bar that lets underage girls in as long as they flash something (boobs, library cards, really anything). Said bar was bulldozed many years ago, surprisingly.

I will accept a limp dick over incessant talking, EVERY DAY OF THE FUCKING WEEK.

Similar story, similar outcome (except no sexy friend came through) to I created a burner account for this’s story.

One company party lead off auspiciously when, within the first half-hour, I fell down the stairs of the restaurant and knocked over a candle, setting a small section of the table on fire. This, however, did not stop my urge to down expensive alcohols on the company dime.

When I was 20, I was working at a bookstore and living with my boyfriend, who also worked at the same bookstore. It was a small bookstore, with only 7 employees and when the holiday party rolled around we all went to a bar in Montouk and proceeded to get ripped. I had lost track of my boyfriend and started to make out…

Did you ever know that you're my hero

I WAS A SCHOLAR. I HAD SCHOLARLY PURSUITS.

You had me at “Gender Studies 101 AND 102”.

This story has never been said aloud or written.

The wild office parties kill me - they really are that crazy? What is the next day like?

By “Holiday” do you mean the Good Friday when I hooked up with super hot Alex? Or the Easter Sunday when I met him at the family brunch and learned he was my dad’s half-sister’s son?

I MADE A BURNER FOR EXACTLY THIS PURPOSE.

Not like she has any other options. No education, four (?) kids to take care of, and all the parents (sources of money) won’t let her leave him. I’m not going to call her silly for not having the tools to escape the life they brainwashed her for.

How much do you have to hate each other? And yourselves?

Oh man, I want to BE that person. Not because I like other peoples pain or anything just the thought of calling someone up and being like ‘Hey, John? Hey buddy, Trisha isn’t feeling it anymore, she just does not give a fuck about comic books and hates your moms constant nagging for grandchildren. If you want me to be…