Good lighting and with my arms raised above my head at all times

Uh no. My boobs would just flop through the open space on the bottom. No one who needs to wear a bra can wear this.

I’m going to be Nina Garcia and say “I don’t know who this girl is. Where is she going?”

Especially because people who fear change are more likely to have to use bills anyway!

Actually Harriet Tubman or Zoe Saldana as Harriet Tubman?

How is there a Key and Peele for every topic? You’d think their show was on for like 15 years or something.

Im just annoyed that he has this much time and money to bother us all with this mess.

celebs don’t have to be role models. they don’t have to be politically aware. they don’t have to be rational and intelligent.

I believe that unicorns come in a variety of colors. I believe that it’s currently raining avocados. I believe that my kitchen floor is cleaning itself, right now.

I say knee length skirts don’t take it far enough. We should put girls in burkas.

“met by all the aborted fetuses at the gates of heaven and they would thank him … for what he did because his actions saved lives of other unborn fetuses.”

If aborted fetuses are hanging out at the gates of heaven, then we should abort all the fetuses, right? I mean, if they get birthed and grow up to be people, they’ll definitely, definitely sin and might end up in hell. Or they might get raised by scary Muslims or something. Goodness gracious...

He kind of looks like my dad... I mean my dad is a tad less insane but you know, the hair and beard.

...The first thing I thought of was how are the fetuses moving and I don’t think I want to meet fetuses.

Look at the way he’s staring at her tits - DEFINITELY THE FATHER

Mug shot? More like SMUG shot.

Counterpoint: The Mushroom Death Suit seems like a great idea as well as the name of my new band. I would definitely consider this. (hopefully not for a loooooong time tho)

Oh my god! A celebrity has their own opinions but knows how to be respectful to people she doesnt agree with!? how crazy is that!?

It’s a good thing my dog is going to live forever and I won’t have to go through this.