He isn’t even the incredibly superior Yukon Gold! (seriously, my boyfriend insisted i use yukon golds to make mashed potatoes once and I’m NEVER GOING BACK!!!)

My guess was bacterial orb from some sort of Heritage Foundation-esque petri dish.

Also, there is no way this guy is only 44. I want to see his birth certificate.

My cousin had a baby with a dude that I keep referring to as a potato. I never considered how this might offend the spud community. (Though another cousin did marry a man named Spud... or at least that is how he was introduced to me. Lots of emphasis on the U. Spuuuuuud. Why yes-some of my family are rednecks. Why do…

It figures that a guy like Cruz, always going on and on and on, would turn out to be a common tater.

LOL why the fuck doesn’t this have more upvotes

Even Idaho hates Ted Cruz.

As a Canadian, I find that insulting. Some of us born in this country are of proud yam stock.

That’s the Canadian part of him. Prince Edward Island potato.

I was certain he was a muppet left out on a hot radiator.

Maybe we’ll finally stop ignoring the reality that all GOP politicians are harvested from fundamentalist potato farms.

I’m pretty sure he’s made of Pink Slime. He totally looks like a meat-based puppet.

That’s insulting to potatoes.

She’s probably rotting in a rocking chair up in the attic.

No! No!

Papa Cruz.

I like your style!

Dicks can justify anything in their heads as righteous, especially super religious dicks, especially when it comes to intimidating women who may be sexually active.

How do you hate women that much that the idea of them having any agency in their bodies inspires enough rage to commit murder?

I’m just gonna put this here as a positive image as well as an indicator of my current mood. Where’s my bean bag?