We asked for no gifts but our friends got us things anyway. Most of them gave us donations to Heifer International, but some of them gave us really beautiful objects as well. Vases and things.

My clack-wanker cousin demanded that we all give her a present from a “Specially Made” wedding gift list from a store in the UK - where nothing cost less than £50. I have never reveled so much in sending someone a large package of cheap-arse kitchen towels from IKEA. The look on her poisonous wee face when she…

My gift to my close friends was not making them be my bridesmaids. I don’t really even know what bridesmaids are for, except to cause more drama and make them spend lots of money. So we just had one attendant each - my sister and his brother. My friends were still there for me throughout the whole thing but they were…

I don’t mind registries, but if you put registry information (or “cash gifts welcome”) in your invitation, I think you’re the tackiest tacky who ever tackied.

Cross out the “kind of”. That’s a true gift.

I would say that caring for their pets would be the best present EVER.

My take on wedding gifts is simple: unless you know the person REALLY well and can say with all accuracy that you know what they want/need, give them a gift card. For somewhere useful. The most enthusiastic thank-you card we ever received was from my hairdresser (and friend) and I knew they were building their home at…

I did not get my friend a gift after I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. I did get her a card with a long heartfelt note in it. She also told us NOT to get them a gift in advance, because she knew we were all spending a lot of money on he bridal shower, her bachelorette party, her bridesmaid dresses (it ended up being…

I like wedding registries! Otherwise I would have no idea what to buy for people! However, if I ever get married I think I would try to avoid most of a wedding’s capitalist trappings, to the best of my ability.

As an engaged person...this absolutely enrages me. I’m not getting any work done the rest of the day as I stew over this anecdote.

MY BLOOD PRESSURE. MY BLOOD PRESSURE. MY EYES JUST POPPED OUT OF MY HEAD.

I didn’t give my brother a wedding gift. At the time, I couldn’t afford the dress and the obscenely expensive salon his fiancee picked, and it took me quite a bit to pay those off. Plus, I had to chip in for the shower gift and plan the in-town shower. I also took care of their pets while they were on their honeymoon.

I just can’t resist the urge to ruin your WHOLE DAY, soooo.... The other day I went on Facebook, and a friend of my fiance’s had posted a link to their Bed Bath and Beyond registry — along with a status explaining that they couldn’t invite all their loved ones to the wedding, but that they would be so grateful if…

I actually don’t mind those, it takes a lot of effort and guesswork out of the gift-giving. Ah, you’re getting married? What can I afford? One fork? Excellent, happy wedding, here is your dinglehopper.

Here ya go:

needs those little sparkly claws. you know what i mean. you know.

I’m holding back so many catty comments that I feel I’ve contracted feline leukemia.

Don’t have the means to shop Garavani’s face onto the turkey. Use your imaginations, people.

I’m with you on all of these except the bonefolder. as a book-making enthusiast, I will vouch for the bonefolder. makes a HUGE difference especially when working with cardstock. and if you’re folding a shit ton of paper (like name cards + programs for 100 people) also, they’re like $2 at michaels.

Oh, good, I’m so glad you said this. I looked at it, and thought, that doesn’t look sacred or Native in any way... it looks dumb, but not like any sort of culture at all. I agree that the styling takes it into appropriation (way to go, Topshop!) but if you just want to craft-project some feathers onto your head, I…