Casper was a dead kid. Why was this a good idea to show to small children again?

Ghosts won’t sleep with your husband. Or wife. Or, you know, anyone else who isn’t a ghost

Barry, it’s kind of shitty you calling out the Buffalo News out like this, what with all the unbiased news they normally report-

It’s especially apparent when you look at how handsome and debonair President Obama is. Like, goddamn that is a good-looking man.

so you’re saying my attraction to Pretty In Pink-era James Spader is science?

I suppose I need to adjust my brain to think like I’m traveling on my own private plane, not economy class on United.

But you assume that travellers of the class who own Birkins and travel with them are actually handling any other luggage! Carrying a bag other than in the crook of one’s arm risks pulling one’s ensemble askew, and furthermore renders the display of the bag far less photogenic.

Nothing says “I’m in the mood” like a sexy nightie. Let's be careful with our mixed messages, ladies. Men cannot be held responsible for their actions in the presence of a nightie.

i’m enjoying the irony of trump having a viewpoint in line with sharia law

I wonder how quickly tunes would change if, for example, Brian Greene’s wife introduced something to his anus while he was unconscious.

I just fucking quit.

I guess I never realized that spousal rape only became illegal in 1993. That is f’ing bananas. What the actual shit, man.

If Zimbabwe wants to extradite Walter Palmer to be prosecuted for what looks like several crimes here, let’s hope the US gives him up without a peep. Looks like they’re already prosecuting the local people involved:

I’m a hunter, and I know I always feel the proudest when I use bait to lure an animal that I have no intention of eating and that has become acclimated to being in the presence of people (which removes any sport in it) nominally outside a protected area for the sole purpose of counteracting the shame of my shockingly…

Give Rand a break. Nobody has been paying any attention to his campaogn as of late so he probably figured it was time to say something crazy to fire up the base.

EQUALLY SERIOUS QUESTION: What is waterlining? I have no idea....

Just keep it Russell Wilson and don’t fuck those cones before marriage.

Neither couple is as in love as I am with Trader Joe’s mini ice cream cones and I’ve never tried a Trader Joe mini ice cream cone.

I dare you to compete with the love white cheddar cheeto puffs and I share. I. Dare. You.

Trader Joe’s is finally opening in Alabama in October, 130 miles away from me. I will still make trips just for that. And to see my fiance’s family. But mostly for TJ’s.