Also, the spelling of her name is basically a hate crime.

Fuck these old, white dinosaurs, they’ll be dead soon enough.

‘Sup boo?

Fanny packs are useful and convenient. How dare you.

Also, “36 titty-tassled bunnies.” I would like to marry this man.

I would’ve gotten so pregnant.

Jesus Christ, the uterus get legislated so much. Appendixes are worthless, and potentially deadly. Where’s the legislation around them?

We run a small company in large part through Instagram, so I get why this sucks for some people. I’m not in it for the likes, but most of the traffic to our online store comes from Insta. Also, fuck algorithms in general. Stop trying to trick me into interacting with your app more with a threat of unpopularity.

You know what they say, you can’t teach a damp sack of sloughed-off skin new tricks.

Fuck it, I think this is great.

I’m gonna go with... beat myself to death with it.

This week has been a real primer in just how concerned federal and state governments are with my baby maker. Too bad they can’t focus all this attention on bridges or our education system.

Liking people you hate for hating people you hate even more is so confusing.

This is an A+ example of why healthcare should in no way be tied to our employers.

Literally don’t know dick. Like, actually have never met a penis.

Now, I’ve always rolled my eyes at those kids who say “Fuck America! Everything is broken!” but... everything is so fucking broken.

I actually LOL’d.

Hope she gets Joey Greco’d.

I would respect these dickholes more if they straight out said “arrest all the brown folks.”

THEN HE’LL NEED MORE ALOE FOR THAT BURN! This is an excellent plan.