Seriously think we should see if Banana Boat will send him a case. Can you imagine? He’d blow a gasket.

My eyes just rolled out of my head and onto the court and got caught in the net, where they had to be retrieved by the ball girl.

She’s ten years old, right?

Madonna kind of makes my heart sad, TBH.

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Part of me wants to see Trump make it to the presidency, just to see how he’ll tweet his way out of actually being the president.

I’m not crazy about any of this upholstery, but I do really love the idea of not spending my savings a wedding dress.

Ha! The hilarious part is that this will probably happen next week.

Even if this guy isn’t the Zodiac Killer, he is such a murderer. He has murdered someone. He has at least one body buried in the crawlspace.

It’s the original Katy Perry since our Katy Perry is actually JonBenet Ramsey, I mean duh.

How dare people get along after a relationship that maybe just didn’t work out?

It should follow then that unused fertilized eggs from IVF should each be buried in their own tiny casket at the expense of the mother, yes? Oh wait no, those aren’t babies because their mothers aren’t back-alley whores. They’re all Christian ladies trying to have babies like Jesus wanted.

No, and Jesus H. why would anyone want to?

Shit, I should maybe tell someone about that Jimmy Hoffa skeleton I have mounted in my study...

The GOP should change their symbol to a dog, because WOOOOF.

Satan’s the next big thing. Mark my words.

This is the best real, factual news I’ve read since finding out that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer.

Mom. Stop.

Calm down, Ted Cruz.