Well, at least I'm doing one thing right in my adult life.

Papa Johns first broke my heart in 2003. We were drunk, watching TV, and a Papa Johns commercial came on where they said they would GIVE you a Drop Dead Fred DVD with the purchase of two medium pizzas. We rushed to the website, only to find that there were no Papa Johns that would deliver in Chicago. Total heartbreak.

These little broads...

I immediately distrust anyone who even uses the term political correctness.

This is great I really needed a laugh thanks British politician who looks kind of like a penis.

Nope, sorry. No exceptions. I don't make the rules.

Oblig.

Thanks! I might also be mentally ill.

I have this irrational but completely solid belief that if I were ever face-to-face with a big cat in the wild it would look into my eyes, know I'm one of its own, and spare my life.

Weirdo, yes. Matched perfectly to the kind of weirdo who would turn a box into THIS for their cat? (The weirdo is me.)

Ugggh, I feel like we should take maybe a twenty year break from having sex as a species. That shit causes nothing but trouble.

Okay, so I could still beat Charles Manson to the altar. Things are fine. I got this.

Can I just say how irrationally angry artists who paint shitty acrylics make me? Like, livid.

I'd love to hear his take on the two series.

"I think that Lululemon was so successful because I was probably the only straight guy that was making women's apparel, and I knew what a guy liked..."

I totally agree about Gracepoint. Totally botched the understated tension and beauty of Broadchurch. It reminded me of Desperate Housewives.

I feel like the Powers That Be are going way out of their way to keep single women feeling shitty for being single... which is good, in a way. It's like they know we're on the verge of not having any more fucks to give.

I LOL'd.

WHAT. No more kegs of Jack Daniels? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DRINK NOW?