3 weeks old tomorrow. Couldn't resist sharing my own squee. It's self indulgent, but can help you through a tough morning. 3 more weeks, and this baby will be my responsibility. So looking forward to her puppy love and am scrambling to find safe, healthy things for her sharp puppy teeth. Her name is Louise.

Srsly, those pancakes people cannot be trusted.

YES IT IS. ALL OF IT.

You know, this is exactly the kind of shit that made Dawn my least favorite of the Babysitters. Not cool at all like fashionable junk-food addict artist Claudia.

He turns to his bright-eyed eight year old, sitting but two feet from me, and says, "You see son? This is why you should stay in school."(FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU)

The thing that has me scratching my head (not really, I know why) is that, if homosexuality is a choice, as I'm sure this woman and her supporters believe, then why does conversion therapy even need to be a thing ? You can choose to be a cab driver, but if you want to change careers and become a bartender, you don't…

i was really hungover today and i had a moment of real job appreciation where i was like, oh hell yes i am "at work" and writing a headline about barf

i read your first line and didn't read the rest because you're a fucking asshole.

It is VERY difficult to feel sorry for you.

There absolutely IS something wrong with fucking up your server's/the restaurant's day because of your desire that the world revolves around you. No sympathy. None.

Stop ordering off the menu and justifying ludicrous customer behavior, and I'll have no problem being nice to you.

you get the subclass treatment because, when you go to a restaurant and the ordering things that are NOT on the menu, what you are saying to every employee who works at that restaurant, "yeah, you guys know what you are doing and have everything planned out precisely but I DONT GIVE A FUCK." it's essentially…

Yeah, servers DEFINITELY hate you.

you should do some kind of round up of all the times taylor did something with a celebrity chef. #goodideas #nonbiasedideas

i can't wait for someone to do so so i can watch the shit show.

so about the same texture as undigested foie gras, then? That's...yeah. Happy New Year!

for the future kinjamazon store, there should be tshirts, caps and fleeces with "YOU AREN'T ARTISTS. YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND" as well as with "I'm a very important person. I sell monogrammed coffee thermoses" ...

Icky Vickie needs more whoo-hoos. Stop infringing Gunvalson rights.

Obligatory pu pu platter joke.

How much of this is because people are ordering Marauder's Map scarves off of Etsy? ::crosses fingers SOMEONE in my family took the hint::