All of the girls on my Dad's side of the family once received a carton of eggs from my aunt. I was just extremely confused for about 2 minutes as I tried to figure out what it was (Hint: they were eggs). I finally asked a cousin next to me, who responded with " I think...she just gave us...some motherf*cking eggs."

I and my horrible taste in music approve this message.

THE ULTIMATE BLIND ITEM!

"I'm tired of waiting. I'm going to teach it to love."

I agree with Donald Trump and Zach Braff so now I'm gonna have to kill myself. Goodbye, cruel world. Pray for my soul.

You are too kind. I don't think she looks like she votes at all.

I can't decide whether I'm more sad or oddly impressed that this is the hill on which you've chosen to die.

I give this comment 0 out of infinity stars.

Oh Ross, dear Ross:

Congratulations, this is the most boring comment in the history of comments.

I shudder for the people who will think you're serious.

That's Jews for you. Prejudiced mofos, every last one of 'em.

I like you :)

sometimes i forget if narwhals are real or fictional, and then i google to check and i'm just SO STOKED every time i re-find out they're real.

Fuck your pop. The Midwest produced Skyline Chili and the St. Louis Cardinals, they don't get to have a say in jack shit any more.

Screw you, fly over state potato growers. I'm sick of your ocean envy

You're from Canada you couldn't understand.

You can't use fish stock to make bread dough. No one does that. Literally no one has done that in the history of time.