I actually said that to a woman who asked me if I was pregnant. I happened to be leaning against a railing and I guess it kind of pooched out my belly, but I just looked her straight in the eye and said, “Nope, I’m just fat.” The flustered look and her man-friend pulling her away from me was worth the rudeness on my…

“We’re so in sync, we finish each other’s-” “Derek!”

can’t help but notice that along with the increase in fake underage and fake family porn there has been an increase in choking. when complaining about that a female friend said “but I like being choked” and I had to point out that I have trouble finding ANY porn without it. W T F world.

Then again, this goes a long way toward explaining some of the Golden Globes that have been handed out in the last 50 years. (An entertainment journalist who can’t even spell “Barrymore” after 60 years in Hollywood?)

> I can’t do nonscrambled egg

DON’T EGG-SHAME

When I was 6ish years old My family went out for lunch after church to a diner that served all day breakfast. The Man I Most Seek to Please on the Entire Planet (Daddy) ordered a breakfast platter with eggs “over easy.” Seeking to form a bond with/impress my father, I did the same. I still remember the little black…

i get that it’s a texture thing (i’m more of an over medium person myself), but it’s crazy how divisive eggs can be with people, not to mention how versatile. right up there with my favorite foods. 

While I acknowledge your opinion, calling a fried runny egg gross also makes me sad in my soul.

Can we do a thing where people who hate their jobs go find different jobs?

Yeah, I think this might actually be outdated advice in 2018. The freakout over opioids has people terrified to prescribe them at all, with the exception of the blatantly corrupt pill millers. You’re now more likely to be in genuine need of opioids and unable to get them.

A few years back I was invited to a sluts and vicars costume party for Halloween. I was in need of of dog collar ( the sort that dogs wear) and a leash so decided to go to Pet City to purchase one. I tried a few on instore because wasn't sure if I would be small or medium for the collar. Whilst I had one on the…

Why buy one now when they’ll be government issue in just a short while? Just a waste of money!

which needs to change.

While the morbid voyeurism that propelled the video to viral status remains unsettling, Lauren attributes its spread to her safety.

It’s almost understandable except the place is called the Japan House!

Definitely not a good thing. It’s a response to the statement about how the OP’s country has 32 guns per person, and they’re perfectly fine in terms of gun violence.

I am astonished you didn’t hack off maybe a quarter of it for yourself before destroying the rest. “Yeah, you want me to turn your portion into beef jerky, fine, but I’m going to enjoy mine.”

Someone from a forum I visit is a nanny for a little girl who desperately wanted a Paw Patrol birthday party. Her mother opted for a French bistro theme instead, because it would impress the other mothers more (and make for better Instagram pictures, naturally). I don’t even like children, I never want my own, but you…

I get that its 2017 but things you don’t need at your kids birthday party are “veggies” and “veggie chips”. NO!