Crate train them ASAP, the younger you teach them that their crate is “their” space and reward them with rawhides, the better.

After being an adult for a few years nothing supernatural can scare me.

Ahem.

These are humblebrags. What about us, the folks who STAYED ugly?

I know there are people who think she’s pretty, but I’ve always thought she looked like a not-particularly-intelligent horse.

So... I did something today.

OK, a 30 year old here.

“I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s it seems weird and scary to me, and it’ll happen to you too!”

“That’s a bad name for that march because non-scientists  who only see the name will assume it’s exclusively for scientists.” - Jonathan Chait

i wish when i lied that i was able to believe myself as well as drumpf does when he lies.

From my coworker Jordan Sargent:

If you’re carrying enough water weight to produce tears, you’re too bloated for the runway fam.

Would you care to share a postmortem of that? 

NO YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH THE COCAINE

Ocean’s 14: Divorced Dad Hangout

Makes sense, she can’t stay with someone for too long. Otherwise they start asking questions about how she never ages and needs permission to enter people’s homes.

“Hey, can I borrow the car? Before you answer, remember that time I risked my life to save our livelihood and my grandfather from ax wielding robbers? Kthxbye!”