Your child will be able to commiserate with Eric Cartman when trying to determine his father.

Ooh! This is a joke about the Dutch boy plugging the hole in the dyke to save the town. I understood that reference!

I hope they go through with the lawsuit no matter what. Win or lose on that, the mere THREAT of a lawsuit would be a nice counter to all these team doctors who have an obvious conflict of interest getting paychecks signed by the owners. You want to really risk your medical license because you love working for pro…

He who has not punched a cop in the face and got off on the charges may cast the first stone.

Yeah but in the movies they usually DO make it happen.

I know I’m probably super late on this but I need to stick “whataboutism” in my comeback quiver for every office argument going forward. And then be Robin fucking Hood.

I come to deadspin for all the sports shit but I don’t know a ton about hockey and I certainly don’t know jack about the west coast and Canadian teams. So at first glance I thought they were teammates. Like the one jersey looks like “Tkachuk” to me at first.

Or a game 4.

Look, if you wanna split semantics and act like being a New York sports fan this decade has not been its own version Dwight Schrute co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil, more power to you. I am sick of it.

I can always appreciate a good heap of sports Schadenfreude. But there’s nine franchises in the four major sports in the NY market, and this is the only one that hasn’t been some level of complete dogshit for at least the last ten years. Meanwhile there’s this city to the east whose fans wouldn’t know a tough loss if…

The Nets owner’s statement...am I like, supposed to feel sympathy to the Chinese government or something? “By now I hope you can begin to understand...”

Is he dead?

What’s the big deal? That is the look of a man who could find another spleen on the black market for Darnold if he needed to.

See my Buffalo comment.

True Sabre fans know the November win streak only happened because you can’t have an epic collapse without an epic rise. So factor that in and we are unequivocally the worst team in the league.

+1 popular with the Germans.

That’s a great video from “Deadspin pay me for using my video.”

Ramsey played Thursday night and had eight tackles. 

So his brain is “wired for contact” like Tom Brady’s?

Captain throws a Hook.