I salute you, Rand Paul’s Neighbor

This goes from benign to excessive very quickly.

Well, it’s more that FIFA rankings are a fucking joke. Their #1 didn’t make it out of the group stage.

use my tweets, bitch 

I like this because it reminds us that no matter how rich or successful a professional athlete might become they all started from the same place, being the children of rich, successful professional athletes.

Honest question: Do you think Nicholson knows who LeBron James is?

Man so a witness who vouched for Winston during the rape case apparently lied his ass off to protect Jameis in the face of a sexual assault investigation.  I mean obviously these two things are unrelated 

What the fuck would a Met know about playing anything the right way?

Suarez was expecting to feast on Russia’s players, but not exactly like this.

You literally quoted the question, then failed to read it. I seriously doubt your ability to follow street signs.

I love raisins, they’re sweet, they’re healthy, they stick together so I can eat an entire box in one bite, and you get to pretend like you’re mercy killing elderly grapes! In so many ways they are a perfect little snack, but if I take a bite out of what I think is a chocolate chip cookie and realize that it’s…

Gotta say, escaping Cleveland only to be traded back seems like the kind of thing that would happen on a flat Earth.

Bound to happen if you pitch, hit, and fuck with the same appendage.

“I don’t do crack.”

Vegas fans quickly shook this off in anticipation of their beloved warriors sweep tonight

No, I mean this sincerely, I legit am here for the scouting report on Tim Oshie, give me more.

Serves those bandwagon Las Vegas fans right. 5 years ago I bet most of them didn’t even know Vegas had a team.

I know things look promising right now, but Caps fans know there’s still an opportunity to blow this.

I love how he showed the “You aren’t listening” sign again after being asked if he was going to say anything. Get the message now, reporter?