“a paraplegic security guard” - I don’t know how to say this without being a dick, but, uhhh, odd choice for a security guard.

It’s supposed to have LIDAR or similar sensors which detect obstacles in front of it - whether or not they’re illuminated. Part of the point of these autonomous vehicles is that they’re supposed to have better ways to detect potential problems than a human driver, and this shows that wasn’t the case.

...How? She’s basically invisible until she’s within 20ft of a car on a 45MPH road. There’s no way in hell it’s stopping in time, and I’m not sure if it’s able to “panic swerve” around her in time.

Obviously Twitter is another thing Deion couldn’t tackle…

this is goodminton

Yeah, Yeah, Drew has got a BOOOOOONER.

Chest pains, lack of sleep, “troubling symptoms”. That sounds like good old fashion crippling depression to me. A likely side effect of being literally stepped over and stepped on by superstars your entire life. Prescribed treatment is getting the fuck out of Cleveland.

I swear, I read this exact comment about Ovechkin like 12 years ago.

Oooh, colonial burn. Nice.

That’s an icy hot take.

Well, maybe if you had put a little more effort into winning the Revolutionary War, this wouldn’t have happened, old chap.

I hate the old “Text & Call” combo. You get a “Hey what are you up to tonight/can you help me out with something” text and then because I took more than 30 seconds to respond, I immediately get a phone call from the person asking the same question. Calm down, I’m trying to gather my thoughts and come up with a reason…

Signature or real-time resting heart rate?

My dog likes beer. Checks out.

If anything, the people of Renton are known for their nuanced but racist understanding of Washington State tax law.

And I’m sure that’s exactly what she was trying to say in between her Pall Mall-tainted spittle attacks.

12th man hates 13th amendment.

Let he who doesn’t chop his parmesan cheese with a credit card cast the first stone.

Yeah. It’s incredible that both of the following are simultaneously true:

So what? It’s fine. Not everyone likes sandwiches.