I blame the Tigers for not putting netting up around the pitching mound.

Poor kid. I can’t believe Penn State did this to him.

Dana White and Reebook clothing contracts, mostly.

fwiw Carmelo showed with USA Basketball that he is extremely effective off the ball, if he wants to be. Will he want to be? Dunno. Sometimes he rises to the challenge when he has good teammates, other times he seems to be scared they’re getting too much of the spotlight. But if they play him the way they should…

Not with that kind of attitude

OKC knows you can’t have a team offensive usage rate above 100%, right?

We know. We just chose to not mention it to you.

Tricky thing, walking when you’re on the verge of shitting your pants. Gotta move fast, but can’t allow too much separation of the cheeks. Keep’em firm and get a nice shuffle going.

What in the hell are you doing in my house?! GET OUT!!

I would estimate conservatively that 25% of my usable kitchen cabinet space is occupied by kids’ water bottles. Of those water bottles, maybe 15 - 20% are actively being used. It makes me bonkers. The other day, I pulled out a sliding shelf to get at some tupperware and about 8 water bottles fell back behind the…

Sounds like your kids are going to have some pretty bad sunburns.

As a result he’s now dropped to the third round on the Buccaneers draft board.

It’s a fucking video game.

I would cosine his rant, but that probably isn’t a good idea considering his feeling on the Pythagorian Theorem.

Look, if you’re not going to take the expert medical opinion thumbs up of Random Baseball Fan, who do you suggest we trust?

If you could, would you go back in time and plunk baby Hitler with a foul ball?

No, the Yankees are not at fault.

This is a bad take

Sometimes I worry about the future, then I read stories like this and I’m all, “Yeah, no, I’ll never lack for work.”

If only there were some way for these folks to verify whose Uber it was.