The signing of such a high-profile contract is bound to have its detractors, but I am not one of them. Congrats to the whole Deadspin staff on this momentous occassion!

We’re burying the lede here. Somehow, in contradiction to all the known laws of nature, the O’s started Ubaldo Jimenez against Scherzer, let Ubaldo go almost 8 innings, and DID NOT LOSE.

Ballsy move, being the only guy in the stadium.

It’s not like you have a ton of options beyond KG for favorites.

They beat teams like the Cubs for all 3 championships. And the only reason they didn’t last season is the bullpen. If they won that fucking game they would have won the series, I’m convinced of that.

I don’t know what’s weirder, that the Giants have won three or that the Warriors have won one.

The money quote:

It was probably a delivery issue, it was way funnier when he read it on the Astros listserv.

Because he strung some words together that could maybe kinda be construed as a joke, but mostly just seems like a stupid insult of a sports team, Matheny is being sued for impersonation by the Deadspin comments.

This would still sell on AutoTrader for $35k.

Winning “Double Dare” or “GUTS” would have been the tops, I’d have been rolling in some fuckin’ sweet LA Gear shoes for the duration of my adolescence (which, coincidentally would have made me a little shit)

She’s amazing. MOST of her speech was amazing, but...

That Penny Arcade strip was cute!

Make Golf Great Again!!

Remember when golfers used to be fat sacks of shit?

The aggregate fame of all the Steve Smith’s over the years has to add up to something substantial, right? I mean theres an NBA all-star and NFL all-pro in there among others.

Can any of them play offensive line

I pretty much agree with what HamNo wants, but continue to disagree with his pitch of how to achieve it. Trying to make a moral argument, as we just saw in November, does not work!

I love the idea that if we tax billionaires we will lose their largesse. We would cut off the pearls that dribble from their lips down upon us mere mortals. Wither the art museums? Wither the ice rinks?

Seriously, can any of you even imagine a world in which poor people got to eat but we didn’t have Vanderbilt university? Then who would come in last in the SEC?