That’s just journalist Clark Kent. Is he some kind of hero? I’ve never thought his Planet stuff was particularly heroic, so unless he has some kind of secret identity that nobody has told me about, I don’t see what you are getting at.

Peter King came to my town once. Went to a diner and loved the coffee so much he drank four pots. Then he took a three flush shit. You could hear the splashing sounds from the sidewalk. Afterwards he comes out smiling, telling us all, “Hell of a toilet you got there. American Standard. Nothing like it.”

Since the Texans have been a franchise, they’ve won more playoff games than the Cowboys during the same period.

I sent this to my deaf brother, and he told me to eat shit and die.

Well, at least Larry Wilmore was there to (verbally) smack him around like the bitch he is.....

Somewhere, Carl Everett is smiling, believing he’s found a kindred spirit in the sports world. However, Irving does believe that dinosaurs are real, having played against Chris Bosh.

Maybe NBA dudes should have to graduate from college

Well, now, hold on. Did he go to school in the south? They teach you it’s okay to touch cousins like that.

Where the fuck is Caitlyn Jenner now?

It hurts my heart that a straightforward concept like “equal rights” is so difficult for people to understand.

Wait I kept being told that 45 was great for LGBTQ?

Fuck off.

And when you think you’re done fucking off, fuck off even further. Fuckhead.

Chill out, Darren Wilson. You probably shouldn’t be positing on this site.

Who hurt you, starcrunch?

“Respect for sovereignty will ensure a balance of power and non-rivalrous behavior across Europe.”

Oh, exactly...Obama’s wars. How could I forget when 9/11 happened on his watch so he went to war in Afghanistan in 2001; and then when he declared a Global War on Terror and went into Iraq in 2003 (which totally did 9/11 and had nukes) way back when he was actually President George W. Bush. And then when he got an…

Nope nope nope. Puke. Hands down. A crap is a crap is a crap... It might be more liquid than solid, but it’s generally the same.And poop doesn’t necessarily have to stink. You might give a little sniff sniff and figure something is out of the ordinary but it’s generally not overpowering.

God damn it, Drew. LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING, ASSHOLE.