As humans, we have certainly wasted a lot of time on this. We’re so damned stupid.

I want chromatophores! Sign me up!

I would be nervous in the presence of pure, mindless evil, too.

Fuck this fucking asshole and all the assholes like him. I hope they all get fired and can never find work again and have to hunt for recyclables in alleys where they are chased by packs of roving, mangy, slavering dogs.

I wouldn’t bake a fucking batch of cookies without consulting a recipe. Here you have someone ruling on major decisions affecting many people’s lives and not bothering to take a few minutes to familiarize himself with the law.

Because you hurt their feewings.

It’s interesting that the thin woman she is talking about (Glennon) has struggled with an eating disorder. So maybe keep your judgey body image shit to yourself.

I had one of these in 1981. It showed less sideboob and had more of a V in the front. But damn that thing was sexy on. I was sodamnfine that summer.

Perfectly said.

On the upside, she and her therapist will always have lots of material to talk about.

People are just desperate for Apple to create something cool like they used to, but Steve Jobs is dead.

I’m not a car person, but is it wide knowledge that Mustang drivers are the worst on the road? I thought maybe it was just something I noticed. I especially noticed it when a friend drove me to Vegas in his Mustang and I spent the whole time griping at him because he would fail to anticipate the speed of the car in…

Given all the rumors about Tom and John Travolta’s sexuality, is it possible that Scientology is the world’s largest closet?

DEAD. You have killed me.

They are like the Mafia, if the Mafia had no conscience.

THANK YOU. I was born in the early 60s and have spent my life with people telling me how much I need to love Bob Dylan because he is The Greatest Songwriter of All Time. To which I say “Ok, but I just never really ever want to listen to him singing.”

Always appropriate:

Epic.

One Thanksgiving, my housemate and I decided fuck it, let’s cook Chinese food. We made a huge elaborate feast. We invited my boyfriend, and my housemate’s mom. This was made a little odd by the fact that the housemate was my former boyfriend. We just kept living together after we broke up.

It sounds like a move for not much advantage. Keep looking for a job that is a better fit for you. [bangs gavel]