Griffin: [tries to hug Rivers]

Deductive reasoning tells me you don't need another coffee.

How To Cash Out Your Change: Edited Version

Either this was really stupid, or I need another coffee.

I see somebody took their peyote this morning.

Tell you what. Call up the Walter P. Chrysler Museum and notice how they answer the phone.

If Damon Wayans ever goes missing, I'm checking this guy's basement first.

Countering this counterpoint: Who the fuck watches Empire?

walk it off tender touch, it was just a joke

sorry we cant release the episode yet we need to polish it up for a few more months

Furthermore, there are ten letters in the name Chip Kelly. Ku Klax Klan? Also 10!

We should probably be looking at what black people should be doing to make Chip less racist.

Congrats, you're an abusive parent. Showing your kid not to be violent by being violent? Excellent strategy. That poor baby boy, why do you think he hits, when you show him that hitting is appropriate? And shaking? How old is he? I've seen one too many kids with fucked up vision from being shaken. But I don't think…

portly Bulls fan

The most amazing thing about this Lancaster mascot fight is that the actual students don't seem to care one way or the other. The entire fight is being waged by middle-aged alumni who never left town. It's sort of sad watching then vigorously defending their decades-old high school nostalgia.

only carefully placed thermite charges could have broken a man's ribs in the manner seen here

Drew Magary: [walks the fuck right into the side of that car because some asshole won't get out of his way]

FUCK YOU FOODBOY

So, here's where I disagree and I'm glad you picked out two examples where we do the opposite. This is an issue I care deeply about, having lost someone I loved dearly to a street race (she was innocently driving home from work and was struck by a teenager street racing). I make sure all of our coverage focuses on the…

Rex Ryan is going to be a Buffalo legend by Week 6.