He might have a career in MMA.

Do people even play Halo anymore?

Ooo, sick Halo burn!

.. It's Diego Maradona. The latter is already confirmed.

Wow. This is insane..

Yeah, I posted the link on my FB with the comment "I don't know if this is real, but o i m laffin" because really, either way it's funny.

I winced at that bit as well. Everything else spot on.

*woosh*

Yes, yes, everything is rigged. Certainly. Move along.

Right? I know I'm biased, but God damn sometimes I feel like the world is out to get LA sports whenever the opportunity arises. Guessing that comes with any fan of a sports team though

Neutral:

Jesus Christ. This is why I don't listen to/read shit like NPR.

Are we sure he wasn't drunk again when he said this nonsense?

I can understand doing this in the heat of the moment. If a guy tugged on my face mask in practice, I'd be furious. It's dangerous and it happens enough during a game, you don't need that shit from a teammate.

That's awesome!

"Oxnard Police." Well I'll be damned.

Sounds like an awful, awful place to live. Remember folks, speed doesn't kill.

BUT I JUST READ ON GIZMODO THAT THEY CAN HACK INTO MY CAR'S MAGICAL LOCK SYSTEMS AND TAKE EVERYTHING :((( HELP

This really isn't a big deal. It's because of pawn shop laws.

For slacks and a button-down, that three-point stance isn't half bad.