Woo. She may.... She may be a nice, well-meaning idiot.

Yeah did I miss him kicking a dog? A little confused/cerned that all these commenters are pissed this 22 year old is telling a self-deprecating lil’ humor story about how he cried when he was a teenager? Jeez.

Wow. WOW. I was going to say that I hate when my officemates don’t turn the fan on in the bathroom after shitting. But this is ... beyond. Are you sure you don’t work in a Victorian labor house?

Who is all this for?!??!?! Are there really people who are like, dying to watch this spectacle on People TV? Also I cannot IMAGINE how awkward that mile long wander down the aisle was. Probably took 10 minutes for her to get down there, and she’s gotta ham it up the whole way down, lookin all wistful and shit.

He was the one who dated Miley Cyrus’ little sister right? And then had the worst cover story for an overdose I’ve ever read: “I had to be rushed to the hospital because I ate too many flamin’ hot cheetos.”

Can’t deny enjoying that Miley song but that video... yikes dawg. Pass.

“kind of like bland, unpeeled shrimp or particularly flavorful toenails” SHIT DAWG. Would watch more of these videos. 

Tiffany’s sponsored by Tiffany’s with a Tiffany ring and a Tiffany cake and a name change to Tiffany #tiffanys

wow, fabulous recall, you are correct!!! Meghan apparently LOVES her vitamix; perhaps Pripri is trying to play up her royal connections by saying “my friends swear by it” WINK WINK MY PRINCESS FRIENDS I’M FRIENDS WITH A FUCKING PRINCESS. Are they angling for a televised wedding perhaps? The strange, staged hype and…

DAT PUBLICIICICIIITYTYTYTYTYYTYTYTY look at meeeeee also the vitamix. She’ll keep the vitamix. WORTH IT.

This is the most fake, basic, sponcon wedding I hath ever seeneth. She’s going to walk down the aisle with a billboard on her ass. 

It’s fucking frigid here rn and it was pouring freezing rain last night. I mean I don’t like fur because I don’t, but everyone not wearing a coat? They’re freezing to death.

Wow me and Justin Bieber are actually in sync re: existential crises. I’m just going to follow his lead and see what happens should work out well. Brb planning my panic marriage.

Ugh I mean that one remaining moral scruple is REALLY A CLINGER, so the lifestyle isn’t for me. And obviously, the moral of the story is really: this kind of shit leads to some sketchy, bad situations. I’ll keep  my Kia and stay off the Interpol’s red list. Ughhhh ain’t nothing free in this life. 

Ok this is rude of me, but I’m gonna say it, because the whole thing is that they used their looks to get free stuff: So these women are in their 30s, and I mean. Well. I’m no model, but...

Absolutely thought this was talking about the actress Michelle Williams, and I was like, this seems very off brand and it’s sort of odd that she’s on this radio show and I had no idea she was so devout. But it’s the DESTINY’S CHILD Michelle Williams. Not the Dawson’s Creek Michelle Williams. 

Spontaneity? Bullshit. This was planned af, those bags don’t even have presents in them, there was never a reservation and that pasta looks hella disgusting. Probably wasn’t even her birthday. 

These children look ill someone adopt these grey orphans

I think I’ve listened to this song maybe 400 times in the last day. I’ve maybe teared up a few times???? Thank you pop gods for bringing me Kacey Musgrave’s Space Cowboy and now this song?? I got dumped at the PERFECT TIME, MUSICALLY. 

If one more person/bot/org texts/tweets/emails me to tell me vote I am tracking my vote down and deleting it. TAKE ME OFF YO LISTS. IF I’M ON YOUR LIST, THAT MEANS I’M POLITICALLY ACTIVE, I EARLY VOTED, AND DO NOT NEED A DAILY REMINDER TO VOTE OH MY LAWD.