He’s reportedly half-thrilled to get the chance to coach Colin Kaepernick.

I probably had the cutest girlfriend in all of sixth grade.

I’ll never forget what my grandfather once told me: “Never trust a man named Chip. Or the Jews.”

You know, the more I hear about this Roger Goodell guy, the more I don’t like him.

The only people who knew Cardale Jones was starting were Urban Meyer and Bill Belichick.

I hear the stadium is also good at airing out.

It’s basically the Subway Restaurant curse; Jared Fogel, Ryan Howard, RGIII, JFF, Mark Ingram.

good thing the police caught them all both

The opposing pitcher gave him a high five lololololololol

May be headed for another birth certificate scandal.

And yet on last few holes the announcers couldn’t stop talking about Speith and seemed to mention Day as an afterthought.

Otherwise known as “The Shaggy Defense.”

While a rarity in general, of all people in that Mets lineup, the pitcher was probably most likely to drive in a run.

I thought a Kia Nurse was who the Clippers hired when Blake Griffin got injured.

A police spokesman says the source of this story is actually a song by The Tragically Hip.

+3 commas

Question: In 67 at-bats do you think at least 25% of Deadspin readers could get a hit?

W.Gretzky:”It’s ok, son. You miss 100% of the shots you nev-” D.Johnson: “FOR THE LAST TIME, SHUT THE FUCK UP. I KNOW. I KNOW.”

Can’t spell “choke” without “coke”