Marry me, fart.

Of all the words one could use to describe Iggy Azalia, “real” should be last on the list...

im using the excuse “its part of my personality” for everything from now on

WAY ahead of you;

Bugs Bunny can tale care of that for you.

I don’t know what you’re on but I want some.

It’s the eye of the martyr
It’s the thrill of the Right
Rising up to the challenge of our (Supreme Court) trial
And the last known dissenter
Thinks Jesus supports her plight
And she’s watching us all with the eyeeeeeeeeeee ... of the martyr

The 9 Things Women Love Most About Sex

Sadly, as an alum I can assure you this is an improvement over Michigan sports.

Uh...uhuhuhu... you said butthead...

There’s nothing that looks less like a heart than an upside-down heart. That always ends up looking more like a butt or a nutsack.

Fixed! :)

It looks stupid.

And here I was thinking it wasn’t physically possible to teabag yourself...

When I see those images, “a heart” is not the first thing that crosses my mind. Balls on face is more accurate...

I hear the boss is a disgraced mercenary named Twerking Anaconda.

Plot twist: A Hideo Kojima game

Thank you for saying it. They may as well have just used a small GPS transponder. That was a robot in the same way that my IG88 action figure is.

I’m determined to make a level in Mario Maker than even he can’t beat. Except I’d have to beat it in order to upload it so never mind. I’ll make a game my 8 year old cousin can’t beat though. She needs to be brought down a peg.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE DOING THIS TO ME IN MY BIRTHDAY WEEK!!!” and hung up.