Possibly the best bit ever:

I always do it in my head. :-)

Is mayo required? I fucking hate mayo. I don’t even like Richard Here in Officer and a Gentleman.

sweet merciful jesus. I need a Popeyes near me

David Bowie being at the top spot is correct, of course. There simply is nowhere else he could go.

Josh Gordon has had a pretty rough time fighting his demons over the years. I really hope he finds a good landing spot and continues to be clean. He’s so much fun to watch play. Sincerely wish him well.

“In case people don’t realize I’m an asshole by my haircut and wearing a Brady jersey, I’m going to try to kiss this woman trying to do her job.”

This is the VPN I use. It’s pretty solid and reliable. I’d recommend it.

This is the VPN I use. It’s pretty solid and reliable. I’d recommend it.

I had a slice of crispy prosciutto as a garnish to a martini. It was fucking weird. It made me think I was in a Flinstones cartoon.

The right answer is always “Guinness”

When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer.

Fuck Jimmy John’s and their big-game hunting asshole of a CEO. 

Manchego > All other cheeses. 

I love the 80's Vb Vantage. I mean, just look at it:

It’s named PiS5?

You’re a glass-half-full person, eh? :-)

I love everything about Emily Blunt. She’s so funny. She was enough to offset having to watch Tom Cruise in a movie. If you can keep the bile down, Edge of Tomorrow was a decent movie. 

Pouring it out is the best use of Budweiser.

It’s almost like a Martin Scorsese film, but more subtle