Well, it's better to find out now before you're seeing posts on Deadspin reading: Prosecution: Aaron Hernandez's Wife Lied About Disposing Of Guns. Some guys are just lucky like that, I guess.

Well, I guess it just goes to show you that even a tie game can have people coming out of their seats.

Nothing wrong with an educational choke. My seventh grade teacher taught me one that has kept me both kid and disease-free to this day.

Attorney: I'm telling you, Donald, that Allred gal is out to get you.

Guerrillas Pee On Deck

To be honest, I'm not surprised to see a Dominican go after a baseball player's crotch. The same thing happened to me in my church league.

Just when the poor people of Omaha think they've seen the worst of it, they get hit with two more massive, ugly fronts.

Sadly, as the months turned into years and the years turned into decades, Jack found out the hard way that he was neither as nimble nor as quick as he had once been.

Where's the butter, Jameis?!

It's good to see Jesus enjoying himself at the ol' hockey rink again. For awhile there, seeing grown men go to the sin bin for minor penalties made him think of work too much.

Whether he's running a race or on the stand, when you're around Oscar all you hear is claptrap.

Rumor has it that very field is where the phrase, "send a shot right back through the box," originated, but I don't know if that's actually true.

Usually you only see that many clubs on a guy if he got pulled over by the LAPD.

I'd keep him on the roster. It's rare to find a player who can go out and give you 21-21-21 every night.

And now this comment is gray. Wow.

You're doing it wrong, Tim. You're supposed to put aloe on the burn, and not vice versa.

I thought the crowd might give the dog a hand but it looks like everyone on the pitch was too busy using them to communicate.

So, who ordered the sacks on the beach?!

When asked about her victory, Li replied, "It was like a walk on the Park."

Well, you can't spell programs without orgasm.