Wells: I'm reporting for duty, Mr. Cashman.

Oh, of course. And I can only imagine the look on his face when he found out some idiot put up a wall in his way in right field.

+1

...because MMA terminology lends itself perfectly to anus jokes

Marlins Attendance Is Going To Be A Disaster

This is what happens when you work with TNT for a living.

Obviously you didn't check your calendar, Emma, as Easter falls on March 31st this year. All month all I've heard is, "Do this" and "Don't do that." Enough already, Jesus. Enough.

Idiot. +1

You see, ladies? Even this kid's penis doesn't think cheerleading is a sporting event.

To be fair to the breeders who euthanize or cull these unfortunate animals, every dog is given the option of either being killed or starring alongside Cuba Gooding Jr. in Snow Dogs 2.

+1

Smith's Attorney: Your Honor, I've advised my client that pulling out early is best for everyone involved.

+1

GM: OK, son, I'm going to ask you a few questions. Just answer as honestly as possible. OK, here we go...

+1

+1

What the hell, fellas? You can't all be coxswain!1!!

+1

Starr: Hey, I got photobombed by that sprite employee.