Jesus, Kobe, if you want Tarantino to follow you on Twitter just ask him.

I love stories like this. I mean, I don't give a shit about Sassa, the fact that he worked at Hearst, that Hearst owns 20% of ESPN, or any of that bullshit. I'm just excited that there could quite possibly be one more dead hooker out there come Friday night.

PR Nerd: So, Josh, on this part where you wanted to say, "I proved I would die for this...," do you want to go with the pic of you injured on the field or the day you signed with Cleveland?

That was pretty cool of Arwind Santos' entire family to 'Favorite' Balkman's apology tweet. Good on them.

OK, Craggs, you got me. Maybe one of our presidents would've taken these new changes lying down.

That's excellent. God bless whoever penned that headline.

I posted this on Twitter a couple weeks ago but forgot to do so here, but after going over to Jalopnik and seeing what is in store for Deadspin it seemed very fitting.

I feel like an idiot. All this time I thought it was spelled W-A-T-E-R-B-O-A-R-D. They're right, though, that is torture.

That explains the new Twitter handle of @JoeyDoesOldBats.

Drew, is there a "5 o'clock" when it comes to masturbating? And, if so, when is that understood acceptable hour of jerking? Would the masturbating community, which I'm assuming is everyone with at least one hand, common sense, and the ability to get aroused, view me as a pariah if they were to find out that I jack…

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What’s Joe Flacco’s Record Deal Really Worth?

Are we certain the kid isn't just playing along with his parents and the whole Balotelli theme? It kinda looks like he might've shit the bed and then taken a dive.

Judging by what I've read from Magary's Fun Bag pieces, I can only assume BR stands for break room.

That's a great point. I'm sure the Ravens will be praying for turn down service.

Hopefully there's a little money left in the budget for a steady supply of fresh bed sheets.

FUN FACT: The first tossed-off dunk took place seconds after the invention of the doughnut hole.

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