It will still be better than Berman

He did rush for more yards than anyone else on the Birds.

Well, he’s white...

I assume Kelly will be looking to claim him off waivers.

Strange, because Carrol’s usually getting tackled by an idiot off the field.

Aaaaand...I’m done with football.

Did the tourists not see he sock on the doorknob? Assholes.

I don’t know, this one is tough to beat.

Judging by the last fumble, the magic does not extend to his hands.

“If you’re pre-born, you’re great. Once you’re born, you’re fucked.”

Small government! Small enough to fit into a uterus!

Did you hear the Republican response to the debacle in Texas at the debates? They all said it was “sad” but then pointed out that this is what happens to Christians every day. I could have thrown up.

I almost got into an all out brawl with my ignorant sister-in-law about this. We were out for dinner and a gay male couple were kissing at a nearby table. She starts stage whispering “I’m not homophobic but there are KIDS here”. To which I replied “You are the definition of homophobia”. A great battle ensued, the…

In second grade our class was taking a very important test (history I think) and my teacher stressed that we could not get up during said test.

He’ll be able to do a three-point stance perfectly now.

Area woman prepares for Obama to steal her gun, “would like to see him try”

“JET FUEL CAN’T MELT A MOTHER’S PRIDE!”

...imagine if the local newspapers reported on your mother’s Facebook posts...

The Giants need him back ASAP. Unlike the rest of the team, JPP still has enough fingers to count to three.

Those are... actually not that bad? Goodell will probably ban him for 2 games for showing a personality, though.