Feather pillows don’t melt steel beams.

No wonder she divorced you.

Related: Not being a sexist fuckwit about your corner offices likely to dovetail with other business practices that are good for the bottom line.

“Dammit! Flipping a coin is a game of skill”

Tokenism?

In his defense, this is the reporter:

Manning’s college career gave them rest of his team good training for that.

Meanwhile, Tom Cable is still tirelessly building a Seahawks offensive line that in the not too distant future will get Russell Wilson killed.

HIT THE BALL WITH THE RACKET IN SUCH A MANER THAT HE IS UNABLE TO DO THE SAME!!

“it would be hilarious to watch Von Miller cream an unsuspecting Tom Brady well after the whistle.”

They must be kicking themselves that Andy Reid didn’t make it through to the Conference championship.

Carson Palmer as the old guy who dies in the third quarter? Accurate.

“That’s no moon.”

Probably ended the same way as when I challenged Ann Coulter to a game of “Horse”

It was all fun and games until one of the kids challenged him to a game of “Pig.”

skid-resistant on the outside, or the inside? Both could come in handy.

I don’t understand why he needs an “advisory board” on this. His position is basically no abortions ever, so why would he need advice?

Vote for Topher - I’ll be starting a “Pro-Life Advisory Board” but mine will work to dismantle the NRA.

Cue Albert Mohler’s gay scandal in 5, 4, 3...

As opposed to all those other pro-life advisory boards that are full of intelligent and reasonable people... :P