I disagree. I believe a true gentleman would try to cause serious and permanent eye injury to his opponent with a pinky finger only.

But how do they do at raking leaves? I could really use some help with the leaves. Stewart? Anybody?

He should have just shot her:

The shield is tarnished. This is a sickening travesty. For ball inflation he conducts a zillion dollar investigation, hears the appeal himself and fights onward to federal court to uphold the suspension. For a near homocide, he defers to the cops and allows the appeal to go to independent arbitration and lets it stand…

I agree with this pastor: I am also anti-vampire and anti-cannibal. For the record I am also opposed to unicorns, yetis, and swamp monsters. I am for leprechauns and against fairies. Wolfman and E.T. are ok pending a more thorough evaluation. I like to keep an open mind, lest someone call me a bigot.

But he is a really sharp dresser, which makes him a fabulous fabulist.

That’s not Jonny Go.... oh hey, is that Jonny Gomes?

I am a complete jackass without even the vaguest sense of scientific rigor or intellectual honesty, and yet somehow I graduated from medical school.

Agreed. I am pretty sure that was all the spice girls booing, not just Posh Spice. Those crazy brits! Why do they allow washed up pop groups into their parlimentary proceedings? Don’t we wish our congress was hot like theirs?

No, not the school nurse; don’t be silly. We should send all children of locker room attending years to Mike Huckabee. After an extensive verbal and physical exam, he can determine who should be allowed into each locker room, and who should have to skip gym class and go to chapel instead to ask God for better biology.…

Clips like this make the life of every youth coach & referee a misery. “But I saw Lebron do this exact play on TV last night!?!” Somewhere this player’s old J.V. coach just clawed his eyes out with a rusty cheese-grater.

Of course not. I would expect Mr. Bond to Die. Hee hee hee. (Thanks for the assist.)

New rule: no caffeine for people who comment on the internet. If you read a story about a store that offers a product that you are not interested in and instead of skipping past that story you choose to go off on that store as if they were selling cocaine to toddlers, perhaps you should back off on your caffeine…

Time to hit the nanobubbles Boomer, your CTE is acting up.

Two thoughts:

My father makes coffee that tastes like shit, and I am sure he does it for much less than $100/lb.

Sooo.... What are they making? Kinda looks like a HUUUGE fiberglass phallus. Strap-on for Godzilla? I give up. Any idea?

Donald Trump has a suggestion: burquas. That man is a freakin’ genius. Also, someone please stuff a sock in his mouth.

Concussion epeidemic cover-up, ballghazi, arbitrary and pointless fines, tolerating PED’s, punishing palyers for raising awareness of cancer and domestic violence in a manner not sanctioned by the commish.

Let me guess: not a Bobby McFerrin fan? “Don’t worry, life will suck and be meaningless regardless of you and your worry”