And it's kinda funny isn't it, how some men have this running joke about how women "let themselves go" after marriage - in a purely physical sense, when sometimes they're doing that exact thing, but in a relational sense.

Me too except...I find myself caring less. I really can't help it sometimes.

Except they are very capable and wholeheartedly expect sympathy from women.

The fact is, men do get sympathy from other men. Women don't. We don't even really expect sympathy from our partners. They greatly expect it from us. Men are trained to be somewhat sociopathic about women; we are not trained that way.

Being empathetic and emotional is still the go-to excuse for holding women out of political office and CEO positions and the military. So.....why do you think this study is portraying women as superior? Is being empathetic and emotional suddenly a good thing? What?

I find myself reacting the same way. I remember my husband once told me, "I feel like I'm having a conversation with myself." I said, "DO YOU NOW!??!" and walked out of the room.

This is the reason all my previous relationships split. I got so goddamn tired of putting in all the effort into meeting his friends, family, and coworkers only to watch him stare at a wall during a work outing of mine.

Men aren't trained to expect sympathy from other men, true, but they are trained to expect sympathy from, without extending sympathy to, women.

Men get the exact same amount to share with their partner that their partner gets to share with them, though, as is the nature of sharing. To call this dynamic a way that patriarchy hurts men, you'd need to be totally disregarding how it affects women. The fact that hetero couples typically prioritize maintaining…

No, I think the study concluded that men care strongly about what happens to themselves.

Maybe the study got it wrong. Maybe study would find men capable of empathy if they could actually find a man who listened to what their female partner was saying.

No need to beat around the bush. The former happens when the study paints women in a negative light and it's the latter when women are shown to be superior. It's so predictable at this point.

I hate to tell you this, but what you've described isn't uncommon. My own father was the same way. A fair number of men are doting and sweet while they're courting a woman because they want her to continue sleeping with them. But once they've married and/or feel secure in their relationship, they give up the act and…

Thank you, I do too. I'm pretty outspoken, which he loved about me but is now often annoyed with, but I still tell him that I won't wait forever cause I've got a life to enjoy!

This is something I had started to suspect a while ago. Not just through observing my own relationship dynamics, but those of friends and family too. At least now there is a study to back up my hunch.

Big hug for you. I stayed in a relationship for ten years, nine years beyond that magical time when he seemed to deeply care about me. I hope things get better for you.

I find it so weird how Jezebel reports on these sorts of studies. If a study points to there being some kind of difference between men and women, half the time Jezebel will be all skeptical and suggest the study must be using sexist methodology or working from sexist assumptions. But then sometimes, they will…

This makes me sad because it's so true for me. My husband went from being an earth angel, totally doting and even worshipping of me, to being a total selfish layabout with ZERO empathy to how I feel. The only time he ever feels sorry for saying rude things or for taking me for granted is when I point out to him that…

Eeeeeehhhhhh, this is where they got the data:

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