The only friend a real man has is the open road!

I haven’t talked to anyone since 1998.

A 180-degree slope is a flat plain.

Damn.

Wait, if he was sitting on someone’s shoulders, would he have to dribble? He’s not taking any steps and you don’t need to dribble just because your teammates are walking.

Giuliani probably thinks you need to wear a condom to ensure you don’t contract VPN.

Listen, all I’m saying is that whenever his last show is, have Kel Mitchell on, and do a Good Burger sketch.

The NFL deserves this. This is what you get for playing to the nationalistic base. This is what you get when you insist on players sticking to sports unless they’re out they’re waving the flag. This is what you get when you take payments from the DoD for “patriotism” celebrations. This is what you get when a…

This is the finest kind, Roth. Glad you write for this website I spent far too much time on.

Nope, it’s Zhan McClarnon, who played Hanzee in season 2 of Fargo.

A secret history story about how WW stops a nuclear war between America and Russia in 1984? It would continue the theme from the last movie of WW playing a secret role in world history.

You are correct about Snyder - he co-founded a
“communications” company that basically pioneered all the shitty marketing tactics that drive people nuts, then got Wall Street to buy into his shit during the dot-com boom:

One notes that the outrage is about calling her a cunt, not that Trump wants to fuck his daughter.

Nobody’s commenting on how this Finals marks the true end of an era - James Jones is not playing in June for the first time since 2009.

Maybe warning him changes his actions. He did say out of 14 million times, there was only 1 path that they won.

I feel like everyone knows an adam levine. He’s the popular guy who’s super nice to [hot] girls. And all of your beautiful friends are like “What, he’s super nice!” and you’re like “He has literally never spoken to me once.”

Look, fine, do what you want with your tall blue cat-people, but for the love of god, just give The Abyss a damn blu-ray release

Why should I trust his judgement over my own? I’ve never played or really watched tennis, but I have a specific construct in which I am correct in all things. People should listen to me, the protagonist of reality.

Frontier has responded to the incident by adding an up-charge option for seats outside of open-urination rows for all future flights.

It sometimes feels as though this column is uniquely devoted to making fun of Baseball for having unwritten rules combined with a frank and honest discussion about the unwritten rules of air travel and using the shitter.