HE NEVER WOULD HAVE LEFT JORDAN

Dump the asshole who yanks the cup out of her hand to take credit for the ball. Believe me, he’ll only become more of a controlling asshole, not less.

Two obvious takes

As a cat owner, that looks like an absolutely gigantic pain in the ass to feed your cat. I’m not hunting down some toy mouse every morning and afternoon to fill with kibble for them. It’s bad enough I have two cats I have to portion control how much they eat and another that has to get different prescription food. Do…

“the bowl-free, natural way to feed your cat.”

I can’t wait til Kaep caves, goes out and punches a woman and murders a few dogs and immediately gets offers from multiple NFL teams.

So is there a consumer version of this Mad Libs news article creator app you’re using? It seems like it’s a lot of fun.

Boogotti. Kasino.

Nothing inspires confidence quite like a billionaire liquidating assets.

Shit, this scene is the first thing I thought of.

Yeah, I think that’s just what it feels like for men when things are more equitable :)

Why risk a monopoly when a cartel works nearly as well?

Good news for Draft Kings & FanDuel employees looking to keep their side hustle going, right?

+1 animal cracker on your belly button

Burneko out here in the comments defending sentimentality is why Burneko is my dude.

My all-time most embarrassing Child Of Divorce moment is when I completely melted down during a showing of Field of Dreams at the summer camp my brother and I got sent to the summer after my parents split up.

I cried during Inside Out.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! It’s hard to believe it’s finally here, because for me

skimming the beach on their ultra-low takeoffs and landings

i love it when 30 year old beard guys figure out america now and going forward and they write a book about it