“Can you get a pile of guns?”

- Marvin Harrison

In one version of the game, you even get a GUN

Chuck E Cheese- I haven’t been to one of these places in ages. The video game cabinets have been replaced by educational games, but the animatronic show goes on. Across the table two time Super Bowl MVP, Eli Manning squirts Elmers glue into his mouth. As we wait for our sausage pizza, Eli leans in and confides that…

Yes, this 10,000-word profile of Tom Brady on a whole different website definitely proves that we at Deadspin are obsessed with Tom Brady.

Electrolytes: it’s what fancy dogs crave.

“Heart-Shaped Pizza” was the best Pearl Jam song. RIP Curt.

Anyone who is complaining that a poorly shaped Pizza Hut pizza “ruined” their Valentine’s Day has an extremely different values system than I do.

Anyone that lives in a decent size city and orders Papa John’s, Domino’s, etc. over independent joints deserve what they get. Most cities have a decent pizza place, no one should ever have to subject themselves to this shit...

+ 1 Gay Phone.

Ugh. A racist AND a homophone!

I’m all man laughing alone with a poster of laughing women together

“Jesus Christ, man! You couldn’t find a better picture to use??”—Steve Beuerlein

Beuerlein is a Notre Damer, so he’s probably guilty of something.

Why is Steve Beuerlein featured so prominently in the photo at the top? Wouldn’t it be better to use a picture where Stephen White isn’t a secondary figure and one that doesn’t make me initially think that Steve Beuerlein is being accused of child abuse?

What an asshole.

This is a cultural issue. Where young is from having multiple partners isn’t a big deal.

People forget that.