When I was a freshman, I had this as my ringtone (it started at the point I marked):

Whoa whoa whoa... Let's not do anything crazy now, man.

Marchman has awful taste in cereal and baseball teams?

I didn't know the Iron Sheik was such a huge baseball fan.

Hedo Trukoglu has played seven minutes and smoked three cigarettes behind the basket stanchion.

Dunk. If I have the ability to drag my junk across someone's forehead, my day was better than theirs.

I’m still trying to figure out how Muller’s goal went in.

I think Wiggins’ dunks on Rudy Gobert are both better than the one on the countdown.

She must've been enjoying the sites with Gloria James.

His own TV show?

More like Larry Leansright... amirite?

I’ll never understand that notion of needing to lose to become better or battle-hardened. The Warriors are great because they’ve spent the past 4-5 seasons becoming an incredibly cohesive, easily workable bunch. There’s no reason not to believe they’ll make the run to the Finals.

Hollandaise on a hamburger with a poached egg, thick cut bacon and some spinach is what happened when I got bored a few weeks ago.

The only thing in the Cup series that beats a Sunday afternoon at Bristol, is a Saturday night at Bristol.

Me to Coworker as he’s sitting around doing absolutely nothing: “Hey, Jake. What are you doing?”

The taking your drugs at a smart time thing is so true.

Which genre tends to have the most artists with the highest/weirdest demands? I know it probably depends on who may be hitting at that particular time, but do industry mainstays become harder to deal with over time?

Wow, that guy is a dipshit.

Making bombs is bad.

Should've just cut out the middleman and had the ceremony at Waffle House.