In many ways, he's the ideal of a modern English midfielder.

I would hope she would say yes after spending a car payment on melted cheese.

Purple Haze is also the only Abita beer worth a damn.

Bringing drinks to ballparks is essential, especially if it's Wrigley, because you'll most likely be using it as a personal urinal by the bottom of the sixth.

It sure does taste like soap.

I’m not sure the Braves are as doomed as you say they are, Rohan. They’ve gone from two BJ Upton’s to no BJ Upton’s in the course of six months.

I'm waiting for Thugga to drop Carter VI to declare anything the song of the summer.

The Curbstomp-turned-RKO may have been my favorite moment besides... OMG ALL THOSE SUPERMAN PUNCHES.

Remember how Magary said that the USMNT should boycott the 2022 World Cup? After allowing a hat trick to Bendtner of all people, I'm thinking they should just bow out of World Cups for the next few decades.

I can't express how happy it makes me that Roman Reigns may not win on Sunday night. His push has been so awful, and he has such weak mic skill to become a champ.

You usually don't see as many missed attempts in a West Ham shirt unless "Carroll" is on the back of it.

You realize this part of the conversation is about Vincent Kompany, right?

You could see it begin to happen during the World Cup. He was lacking that tenaciousness.

If you're Sevillan on the pitch, what are you on the bench?

In Giroud's defense, he isn't Nicklas Bendtner.

She knows Jay Roach ripped her off in Dinner With Schmucks, right?

Trinidad James went on live television and said he's making money?

You don't enjoy fun, do you?

But she probably would get jealous of someone more talented and doing even the slightest bit of style biting.

So, how long will it take for Azealia Banks to start a long-winded Twitter beef with her?