I have literally pissed in every drink you've sipped from for the last five years. Also, the next time you jaywalking I hope you get the electric chair.

Wow, I didn't think of how that would sound. I shall explain... no way to make a long story short, because this is probably one of my best stories.

Not sure why you are taking this so personally. Did someone vandalize your billboard or something? I suspect you're the troll who posted in another thread under a different name. Oh well, things get vandalized and life is unfair. Pretty sure if a dick was spray painted on that billboard you wouldn't even be here.

The law doesn't suit me though. Private land being rented at profit solely to bombard me with propagandist messages as I try to go about my day doesn't "suit me." I've traveled to Vermont repeatedly over the past few years, and one of the biggest aesthetic differences which is immediately apparent is that billboards…

I AM SO ANGRY AT THIS ACT OF VANDALISM. IT HURTS ME IN THE FEELS. WHERE IS THE RULE OF LAW? WE'VE ENTERED THE WORLD OF MAD MAX. MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS.

I am praying, you hear me, praying to Darwin for Sarah Palin to drive herself into bankruptcy, like the rock stars and rap artists with a brief successful period who get hooked on the big expenses and then can't sustain their lifestyle. I want her to show up to Kroger with her EBT card in 5 years. I want her to become…

" I broke the law and then punished my son when he tried to do what he thought was right. Isn't that a hilarious anecdote where I don't come off looking terrible at all?!"

"He ratted on me while I risked both our lives in the most vapid and idiotic way possible...So I threw his phone out the window." These are our celebrities ladies and gentlemen. Woe to the republic.

We're driving in the car and of course I text and drive

"We're driving in the car and of course I text and drive,"

Your post is so very full of fail I don't know where to begin...

What's your agenda here? What are you trying to prove by pushing back so crazy hard? The police are investigating it as a hate crime, why are you trying to say it is 'just about the money'?

I'm just as much of a Jalop as I am a Jezzie. I've written stuff on Opposite Lock which had nothing to do with LGBT+ issues. About driving in Japan, about Gunma (home of Initial D) specifically, about women in car culture. I'm LGBT, sure, and I'm Jezebel's LGBT editor, but I'm also a gearhead, and don't you forget it.

There is a waiting period for abandoned vehicles. Even then, if the guy wasn't contracted by that hotel to handle towing services for their parking lot, he's in even more trouble. As he basically stole vehicles from private property. So in addition to it basically being a hate crime, he also stole them. He's going to…

All the racists on the Internet must have the weirdest boner right now.

*OH SNAP!

Poor movie fiancées. Your patron saint James Marsden knows that feel.

"[Firth] has a briefly seen, occasionally mentioned fiancée named Olivia (Catherine McCormack), who is a fellow skeptic and an intellectual peer, meaning that she has no chance with him."

You're not very clear about what Feminism is, are you?

Replying to say bravo to your name. It is perfection!