Damn. Where’s Reggie Jackson when you need him 

Ya know, after spending way too much time on this,
I said ‘Fuck it-no one will look at it anyway.’

To really put the duration of this contract into perspective, when it expires, R. Kelly will try to have sex with it.

“A tiny tip can make a difference? Huh. Well, I’ll never know.”

Little less Arizona Cardinal, little more Vatican Cardinal. 

There are worse things to be on the news for than “DIPPED CHICKEN FINGER IN COKE.”

Clearly you've never watched the Hebrew National League

When his moves catch your eye but his team says ‘nice try,’ that’s-a Morey
When you can’t find your way but fired his protege, that’s-a Morey
When your good guys are gone, it’s too late for LeBron, try a Morey
If there’s no racial slurs, or Twitter his-and-hers, you’re in luck

And the other 50% are caused by alcohol and poor math skills.

Chuck! Chuck, it’s Marvin. Your landlord, MARVIN HARRISON! You know that money you owe me? Well listen to this...{hits with bat}.

I was a PFC on a search patrol huntin’ Charlie down, it was in the jungle wars of ‘65. My weapon jammed and I got stuck way out and all alone and I could hear the enemy movin’ in close outside. Just then I heard a twig snap and I grabbed my empty gun and I dug in scared while I counted down my fate. And then a big…

I can still hear my breath. In. Out. In. Out. Yet still, the silence was deafening. And then he said the words every man, woman and child would never forget: “One small step for man. One giant leap for mankind.” A human being had touched the surface of the moon. Well, two, if we’re counting me.

If AI had Embiid in that championship series, I think the Sixers take the Lakers. Embiid is athletic enough and big enough to take Shaq on. BTW, I’m prepared for the heat I’m about to get with this comment.

Sucks when someone fucks you non-consensually, doesn’t it?

Quoth the raven: “Zachary Orr.”

This is a Spurgeon win.

NM Coach: You fucking idiot, we are clearly creatures of determism because it is never possible for us to do anything different from what we actually do, ... in each case, the circumstances that exist before we act determine our actions and make them inevitable.

Pretty sure that Steely McBeem is in the IRA

If you really carefully read this entire post, and read all 19 and 27 pages of the documents on Scribd, and digest all the details and the narrative completely, I find it impossible for any reasonable adult to come to any conclusion other than that that Les Miles knew...HAD TO KNOW...that his defensive coordinator was…

I’m up late googling good teen action and I get this shit?